My Greatest Regret

Almost everyday I regret not telling you.
Almost everyday I regret not speaking the truth.
Everyday I wonder what could have been.
Every night hounds me.
Every word you write stabs me.
Every tear you shed breaks me.
Every thought of you made me cry.
There was a time where you were falling,
I was there but didn't catch you,
if only I'd known
I could have helped you.
I would have held you all night
in warm safe arms
to protect you from the knife,
to protect you from them.
The first time I saw you
I thought you were an angel
of extreme beauty.
That was what i was going to tell you to,
untill I thought about knowing you more
before I try the flirty stuff
and then maybe if luck was on my side
I'd be with you....
Our friendship grew strong
on the school yard field
from the sun and the heat
to the mud and rain.
Then I saw you with him, out of all people
everytime I'd think that
you should be with me, not him,
and when he kissed you I almost cried.
But I wasn't going to hurt your feelings
or get into fights.
I was just thinking, just hoping
that my chance would come.
It arose several times but
I was just too blind to see them.
There was another one
& when I saw you with him
I almost heaved.., and thought
you should be with me, not him.
Time rolled on again
and we became closer friends,
probably one of my best friends.
In the day before you moved away
without a word, I was talking to you.
I was tempted to tell you, to make my move,
your eyes bored into mine,
you were higher, I was lower,
it wasn't meant to be my happy ending.
I just never thought you'd say yes.
Only recently had we seen
each other and talked.
When you hugged me
it was the best feeling,
the best surprise for me,
the last feeling
which was plucked away so long ago.
Reignited for one last time,
only to fade away again.